


A Childhood Fantasy (Part 4)

by nostalgic90s



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Animal Death, Heavy Angst, M/M, Physical Abuse, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 00:32:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14863248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nostalgic90s/pseuds/nostalgic90s
Summary: For the next few days, things are uneasy but quiet. What Owen said was true, about Jerome being a target. Any time the redhead ventured too close to Lila Valeska’s trailer, somebody would be there waiting outside or nearby. They were watching him like hawks and Jerome was the helpless prey. Nobody wanted to work with Jerome anymore, not even Owen. This was okay, Jerome preferred working alone anyway but they gave him the shittiest jobs again. Figuratively and literally. When it was time to take a break or eat a meal, Jerome would sit by himself. He often caught other people’s conversations and they would be talking about him. Things like ‘Did you hear what he did to his brother?’, or ‘He tried to kill his whole family’, and his least favorite…. ‘He abused Jeremiah all those years’. Yeah, Jerome was quite the popular one, his name slipped out of almost everyone’s mouth on a daily basis.





	A Childhood Fantasy (Part 4)

**Author's Note:**

> I know I already put this in the tags but, reader be warned, there is a lot of physical and emotional abuse that Jerome Valeska will experience. There's also mention of animal mutilation sooooo..... Not for the faint of heart. Enjoy~

Zach Valeska is the one who picked Jerome’s unconscious body up from the ground and placed him in the back of a truck. Everybody else packed up the food and grill before piling into their vehicles and taking back off to the circus grounds. Nobody disturbed Jerome. Nobody cared that he might have a head concussion from being hit with a bat. Hours pass and late into the night, around 11:00pm, a bucket of ice water was poured over Jerome.

“FUCK!” Jerome bolts up into a sitting position, eyes wide with fear and anger. This wasn’t the first time somebody used that particular method to wake him. What was different this time, however, was the pain in his head. Jerome reached up and tentatively touched the knot on the back of his head. He flinched. 

“Why’d you go and do that Jerome? Why’d you fuck up a perfectly good day.” It was Uncle Zach. 

Jerome lowered his hand and he looked over at the older male. “Where’s Jeremiah? Did someone take him to the hospital?”

Zach’s eyes narrowed and his expression contorted into disgust. “Fucking psycho. You’re gonna stay away from Jeremiah ya hear that? He’s moving back in with Lila and you-“

“What?!” Jerome’s eyes widen in shock. Panicked, Jerome got up and climbed out of the truck. He ignored the burning pain in his head and ran to his trailer. His heart was racing when he went inside but as soon he flicked the lights on, it felt like his heart stopped. The dresser they shared was gone, with Jerome’s clothes strewn across the floor. “No…” Jerome rushed into the bedroom and he choked back a sob when he noticed Jeremiah’s book collection was gone. Everything that marked Jeremiah’s presence was gone. The mirror, however, still hung in its place across from the bed.

Jerome’s world came crashing down hard. The weight was so immense that he stumbled back until he hit the wall, only to slide down to the floor. He sat there, legs sprawled and his hands resting on either side of his hips. “Miah….” Jerome whispered softly. The redhead wasn’t aware of the tears cascading down his cheeks.

Neither of the Valeska twins slept alone before. For the first time in the 15 years they’ve been alive, they would endure a separation they weren’t accustomed to. Jerome couldn’t move, let alone crawl into an empty bed. Jerome cried quietly for what seemed like an eternity and when he was too weak to shed any more tears, he curled up on the floor and stared into the dark. 

Like his brother, Jeremiah couldn’t sleep. He was allowed to sit at the table with a small reading lamp propped next to him. The wound on Jeremiah’s neck was stitched up and the doctor told him it would scar. Jeremiah was okay with that, he only wished his actions invoked a more favorable response from his mother and uncle. The objective was to paint Jerome as a sadistic psychopath and have him sent away to a mental institution. “Hmm…” Jeremiah was skimming over one of the books Jerome purchased him. Reading always distracted his busy mind and that’s what he needed…. A distraction from the guilt of his actions. The story he was reading, interestingly enough, was about a psychologist who worked with murderers inside a prison facility. Some of the details gave Jeremiah an idea…. One that could carry out his objective. 

The sun began to crawl up towards the clear blue skies, providing a blanket of warmth and light over the circus grounds. Sunlight filtered into the bedroom to reveal a puffy-eyed teenager whom was curled up on the floor. It would appear Jerome never moved from his sport, nor did he sleep. He forced himself to get up from the floor and to ignore the empty feeling inside his chest. Jerome needed to see Jeremiah; he had to make sure his brother was safe and unharmed. In a lethargic manner, Jerome slowly moves through the trailer towards the door. He opened it and stepped outside. It’s early in the morning and that meant nobody was up yet. The chilly morning air didn’t faze Jerome as he made his way down the line of trailers. He located his mother’s trailer but as he drew near it, he heard a man shout. 

“The fuck you think you’re doing Jerome?” It was Owen.

Jerome stopped and he turned to see the older man approaching. “I need to see Jeremiah. I have to make sure he’s okay.”

Owen sighed in frustration and he shook his head. “Yeah that’s not going to happen, not after you sliced the poor kid’s neck.”

“I didn’t do that.” Jerome stared at the trailer. “He cut himself, I don’t know why.”

“That’s not going to work this time Jerome, your stupid mind games end today.” Owen said.

“My what?” Jerome tears his gaze away from the trailer and focuses on Owen. “The hell are you talking about?”

“Jeremiah told us everything. All the physical and emotional abuse you put him through. You had him so terrified that he couldn’t even go to his mother and uncle for help! You threatened to kill him and Lila. Well guess what?” Owen’s eyes narrowed. “The whole circus crew knows about your psychotic episode at the park and you’ll be watched closely. You got a target on your back Jerome so if you fuck up, you’re outta here.” 

Jerome was at a loss for words. What did Jeremiah tell everyone? Why was he spreading lies?

A flash of movement catches Jerome’s attention. He looks up just in time to see Jeremiah’s red hair duck out of sight from the window, evident by the way the curtain fluttered. “Jer!” Jerome shouted and he marched right up to the door.

“Not so fast!” Owen stepped up behind Jerome and hooked his arms underneath the younger male’s armpits. Owen hoisted Jerome up, preventing him from entering the trailer.

“JEREMIAH!” Jerome struggled to pry himself free. “Get the fuck off me Owen!” Jerome grunted and squirmed, attempting to kick Owen in the process. 

Owen ignored Jerome’s attempts to break free and he simply dragged the redhead away from the trailer.

“Tell them the truth!” Tears pricked Jerome’s eyes. “Tell them I never hurt you! I would never hurt you Miah! You know that!” Jerome’s voice was shrill and desperate. He knew Jeremiah could hear him. 

Jeremiah had his back pressed to the door and he was hugging a book to his chest. Every moral fiber in his body willed him to step outside and reveal the truth. However, telling the truth would ruin his plan. It took every ounce of self-control to stay inside that trailer. Those frantic cries stabbed at his heart like knives. When he heard the fond nickname Jerome gave him all those years ago, Jeremiah’s entire body shivered and he felt his knees go weak. He quickly slid down to the floor and he closed his eyes; he tried to push those awful thoughts out of his head. 

Jerome didn’t stop struggling, not until Owen had him under the big red circus tent and threatened to put him in a chokehold until he passed out. Jerome’s body relaxed and his shoulders slumped. 

Owen let go. “You’re on elephant duty today. Go feed them and clean out the cages.”

Jerome didn’t say anything. He walked over to the tool shed to retrieve a shovel and bucket.

For the next few days, things are uneasy but quiet. What Owen said was true, about Jerome being a target. Any time the redhead ventured too close to Lila Valeska’s trailer, somebody would be there waiting outside or nearby. They were watching him like hawks and Jerome was the helpless prey. Nobody wanted to work with Jerome anymore, not even Owen. This was okay, Jerome preferred working alone anyway but they gave him the shittiest jobs again. Figuratively and literally. When it was time to take a break or eat a meal, Jerome would sit by himself. He often caught other people’s conversations and they would be talking about him. Things like ‘Did you hear what he did to his brother?’, or ‘He tried to kill his whole family’, and his least favorite…. ‘He abused Jeremiah all those years’. Yeah, Jerome was quite the popular one, his name slipped out of almost everyone’s mouth on a daily basis. 

Jeremiah, on the other hand, was suffering on a different level then Jerome. For nearly four days, he was cooped up in the tiny trailer, unable to leave. He read all of his books and wanted some new reading material, that and he ran out of grid paper and ink. He didn’t have anything to stimulate his mind, not even a crappy television to dull his thoughts. He was pacing back and forth all day and all night, while his mother boozed every day and passed out with different men in her room. Silence wasn’t good for Jeremiah, it gave him too much room to think unpleasant thoughts. The sound of barking broke Jeremiah’s thought process and he glanced out the window, the children were playing with another stray dog that wandered onto the circus grounds. Jeremiah has an idea. 

It's been a week now since their birthday passed, and since the last time he saw Jeremiah. Jerome can barely sleep and he refuses to use the bed anymore. He went back to a few blankets and a pillow on the floor but he was in and out of consciousness throughout the night. Sometimes he’d wake up gasping for breath because he saw Jeremiah slit his throat and die before him. Other times, Jerome would dream of holding Jeremiah in his arms again, only to wake up and find emptiness. Those were the hardest nights, dreaming of what once was and waking up to cruel reality. 

Things took a turn for the worst when the dead animals started showing up.

The first was a mutilated dog. It had been skinned and its eyes were gouged out. Somebody tortured the poor creature and hung it up over a lamppost for everyone to see. 

Naturally, everyone blamed Jerome Valeska for the cruel act. 

This gave Zach Valeska an excuse to round up his friends and beat the living shit of Jerome. 

Jerome endured hours of suffering. He couldn’t fight back because two men had him pinned down on the ground. Mostly they just kicked Jerome all over his body but Zach took to punching him in the face, and repeatedly calling him a ‘fucking psycho’. 

When they were finished, they left Jerome outside the circus tent, hidden behind the animal cages. Even if somebody saw Jerome, it’s not as if they would help. To the circus handlers and performers, he was a sadistic psychopath that got off on hurting people and animals. When the sun goes down and everyone retires to their trailers, Jerome struggles to lift himself up from the ground. He suspects his ribs are broken but he prays that they are only bruised; he didn’t have money to go to a hospital, let alone find somebody willing to take him. He manages to limp to his trailer and climb the few steps. Jerome lays down on the floor and rests his throbbing head against a pillow. His right eye is swollen shut; no doubt, Zach left a shiner for everyone to see. His jaw hurts, his ribs hurt, everything was hurting. Yet, despite physical pain, Jerome was immune. All he could really feel was the longing desire in his heart to see Jeremiah and holding him again. Just thinking about it brings tears to Jerome’s eyes. He hugs a blanket to his chest and tries to get some rest. 

Nobody bothers Jerome Valeska for a few days. Everyone is aware of the brutal beating and that the teenager would be useless if put to work in that condition. Things are quiet…. Until the next incident.

Lacey Yablonsky, one of the children born into the circus life, discovers her two adult cats viciously stabbed to death and hanging from the top of her trailer. 

When Lacey’s mother, amongst other circus members, confront Jerome inside his trailer, he adamantly denies the violent act. 

“You’re a liar.” The mother said, voice cold and menacing.

“I didn’t kill those cats….Just like I didn’t kill the dog. I’m telling you the truth, look at me.” Jerome had a blanket wrapped around his body. He was unusually red in the face with the prominent black eye still healing up. He was suffering from a fever and his breathing was raspy, as though he were congested. Due to his weakened immune system, caused by the beating a few days ago, Jerome came down with pneumonia. He was trying to stay warm and drink plenty of water, but apparently, the circus had other plans for him.

“Do you ever stop fuckin’ lying? Sheesh, I never realized what a worthless piece of shit you really are until now.” Zach said. Suddenly, he stepped forward and leaned over to grab Jerome by the collar of his shirt. He stood, dragging Jerome up with him. “You’re gonna take those cats down, clean up the fucking mess you made, and apologize to the girl who’s heart you broke.” 

Jerome tried not to visibly flinch when he was yanked up from the floor and forced to stand. “I told you… I didn’t do it.” 

Zach’s mouth twitched in irritation. He began walking backwards, pulling the injured male right along with him. When he reached the door, Zach literally tossed Jerome out of the trailer.

Jerome tried to catch to himself, but he ended landing on his right side, which sent a jolt of pain up throughout his body. He grit his teeth together, refusing to utter a sound. 

Zach, including the other angry circus people, filed out of Jerome’s trailer and crowded around the redhead. Zach casually raised his right arm and one of the men placed a leather-riding crop in his hand. Zach gripped it and he strolled over to Jerome to stand in front of him.

Jerome managed to lift himself to his hands and knees but his body and his head were hurting so much to the point of feeling nauseated. 

“You wanna tell the truth right? Come on Jerome, admit what you did to everyone around here and I’ll consider going easy on ya.” Zach lifted the end of the riding crop and trailed it on the side of Jerome’s cheekbone.

Jerome looked up when he felt something touch his face. Through his hazy vision, Jerome could make out the riding crop and Zach’s sadistic grin. “I…..” Jerome swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. “I….didn’t……do…….it.” Jerome’s voice was loud enough to be heard by those around him. 

Zach’s cruel laughter echoed throughout the circus grounds. “Fuck you’re stubborn! You’ve got balls kid but lying is only gonna get ya in trouble.” Zach looked over to Lacey’s mother. “How old were the cats?”

Without missing a beat, the woman responded calmly: “5 years and 7 for the other.” 

“Okay so that’s….12 lashes? Sounds fair enough.” Zach turned his attention back to Jerome. He raised his right arm above his head. 

Jerome averted his gaze and looked down at the ground.

Seeing this as an admission of guilt, Zach didn’t hesitate to thrust his arm down with all his physical strength. 

Jerome felt the end of the riding crop hit his back. The teenager unintentionally bit down on his own tongue to keep from screaming. His body visibly shook from the pain and his eyes watered up at the same time. 

“You want a turn too? I’m sure your daughter is upset about her poor cats.” Zach held the riding crop out to Lacey’s mother.

The woman nodded. She stepped forward and took the riding crop from Zach. She positioned herself in front of Jerome and shouted at him in anger before bringing the riding crop down on his back again.

Jerome flinched and he choked out a sob, while spitting blood out. 

The cruel act of torture continued until all 12 strikes were successfully delivered. 

By then Jerome was lying flat on the ground on his stomach, head turned away from the people who left him there on the dirt. The back of his shirt was torn from the number of blows it sustained. The pain in his back radiated throughout his body and yet, he didn’t shed a single tear during the whole ordeal. Maybe his tolerance to physical pain was growing, or maybe, he was just dead inside. 

Jeremiah on the other hand, was growing increasingly frustrated. The results of his labors weren’t yielding favorable outcomes. He thought they would’ve sent Jerome away by now but instead, the beatings and public humiliation increased. “No, no, no this isn’t working…. I have to try something else.” He was pacing back and forth in the bathroom. 

“You’re a failure~” Said a singsong voice.

Jeremiah glanced at his reflection in the mirror. “No, I’ve hit a minor speedbump but I will accomplish what I set out to do.” 

“Maybe, maybe not. Even if you’re successful, you’ll still be thinking about Jerome. Last night for example, who was on your mind when you masturbated?” The identical reflection sneered. 

“SHUT UP!” Jeremiah snarled. Without thinking about it, he balled up his right fist and punched the mirror in the center. 

The mirror cracked and a web of fractures spread throughout the shiny surface. A few pieces fell into the bathroom sink. 

Jeremiah ignored the pain in his right hand, he cut up his knuckles and blood began to drip from the tiny cuts. He grabbed a towel and wrapped up his hand. If he was to accomplish his objective, he’d have to resort to something far more dramatic then killing a few family pets. Jeremiah had one more idea to try.

Jerome decided it was time to catch the culprit responsible and clear his name. He was still sick and incredibly sore, but he began sitting on top of his trailer every single night. He kept a thick blanket wrapped around him and a pillow nearby, just in case he felt dizzy and needed to lay down. He figured whoever was responsible was committing the acts late at night, when everyone was asleep. The first two nights are quiet and Jerome doesn’t catch anyone sneaking around. When the sun comes up, he retires to his trailer and tries to get as much sleep as possible. The other circus handlers leave him alone but he knows sooner or later Owen will put him back to work.

Jerome is hopeful on the 3rd night and this time he’s drinking a strong cup of coffee while waiting. The hours wane on and still, no movement. Jerome isn’t sure what time it is, but he assumes it’s close to 5:00AM because of the trickle of light in the sky, indicating the sun was going to rise soon. Jerome can feel pressure in his bladder, he had way too much coffee and water. Jerome stands up and just as he’s ready to unzip his pants, he spots movement in the corner of his eye. 

Somebody is walking behind the line of trailers, with an object in their left hand. 

Jerome freezes. Then he lowers himself and quickly climbs off the trailer. He moves quietly through the circus grounds, making sure to stick to the shadows to remain out of sight. He approaches the individual and his heart flutters when he recognizes him. Jerome steps out of the shadows and speaks up, “You thinkin’ of setting this place on fire?” 

Jeremiah stops dead in his tracks. He recognizes the voice. 

“Cuz I was thinkin’ about it too…” Jerome eyes the red gas can in Jeremiah’s left hand. 

Jeremiah drops the gas can and takes off running.

Jerome doesn’t hesitate to run after his brother. The adrenaline has Jerome’s heart racing and it numbs him up enough to where he doesn’t feel the pain of his injuries. He’s faster and it doesn’t take him long to catch up to Jeremiah. Jerome reaches out and grabs his brother by the waist, only to tackle him down onto the ground.

Jeremiah turns and tosses his brother off. He attempts to get up again.

Momentarily dazed by the sudden movement, Jerome gets back up on his feet and this time he jumps on top of Jeremiah. He rolls the other male over onto his back and shifts upward to sit on his chest. Then he grabs both hands to pin them down above Jeremiah’s head. 

Jeremiah struggles to turn his body and throw Jerome off again, but this time Jerome had him pinned. Realizing he’s no match for his athletic sibling, Jeremiah stops resisting and his body goes limp. “Get off me, please.” Jeremiah’s tone is low and toneless. 

“Not until you tell me why.” Jerome doesn’t loosen his grip once.

Jeremiah avoids his brother’s gaze and he stares to the right, towards the trailers. 

Jerome sighs impatiently; his brother was stubborn as always… Jerome lets go of Jeremiah’s hands and he climbs off him. He then grabs Jeremiah by his arm and pulls him up to his feet. “There, I got off like you asked. Try to run and I’ll catch you again.” 

Jeremiah says nothing when Jerome gets off and assists him in standing. He yanked his arm away from Jerome and brushed the dirt off his clothes. “Yes….you were always the fast one.” 

“Stop avoiding my question.” Jerome states firmly. “Tell me why you’re doing this Jeremiah.” 

Jeremiah hesitates and he lowers his hands to his side, gaze hovering on the ground. The whole time he avoids looking at Jerome for fear he might weaken at the sight of his brother. 

“LOOK AT ME!” Jerome practically snarls. 

Jeremiah jumped, the words turn his stomach into liquid fire. He isn’t scared but the sudden outburst of anger surprises him. With uncertainty, Jeremiah lifts his gaze to meet Jerome’s. The first thing Jeremiah notices is the ugly green and purple color around Jerome’s eye, and the other fading bruises dotting his face. The second thing Jeremiah notices is that his brother lost weight….a lot of weight. His skin is an unhealthy pale color and his eyes and nose are red, as though he’d been sick recently. The most distinguishable characteristic is the thick, heavy circles under Jerome’s eyes, they’re identical to the ones Jeremiah has under his own eyes. 

“Jerome….” Jeremiah whispered the name and an inexplicable wave of emotion overtakes him. Streams of tears appear and Jeremiah reaches up to remove his glasses, while attempting to hide his face with the other hand. His whole body shakes as he silently sobs. “You’re hurt….because of me they hurt you….” 

At the sight of his brother’s breakdown, the anger and frustration suddenly deflate. Without a moment’s hesitation, Jerome steps forward and he wraps his arms around his brother. He pulls Jeremiah close and hugs him tightly. “It’s okay….it’s not as bad as it looks….” 

Jeremiah doesn’t recoil from the touch. He would come to rest his face against Jerome’s shoulder and continue to weep. 

Jerome slides one hand to rest on the back of Jeremiah’s head and he gently strokes his fingers through the other’s hair. “Shh, please don’t cry…” 

Jeremiah slides his arms around Jerome and he holds him close, his body shaking from the overwhelming guilt. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry Jerome…. You don’t deserve this. I….I don’t deserve you.” Jeremiah whispers the words; his voice was shaky from crying.

“Don’t say that….please don’t say that.” Jerome’s heart breaks a little from the last remark. He turns his head and kisses the side of Jeremiah’s temple. “What’s going on Miah? What are you going through? Please……please tell me so I can understand why you’re doing this.” 

Jeremiah finds comfort in the gentle kiss and he remains quiet for a while. 

The silence kills Jerome but he says nothing else. 

The two hold each other close and tight, as though they were separated for a lifetime. Neither one let up on their grip, and at some point, Jeremiah manages to stop trembling. 

Jeremiah sniffles and reaches up to wipe the tears from his eyes. “I….it’s hard to explain….”

“Then try.” Jerome says gently.

A trailer door opens and a few voices can be heard nearby.

Both twins look towards the direction of the voices. 

“Not enough time…..” Jeremiah mumbled. He looks back to Jerome and slides one hand up to cup his face. “I’ll tell you another time….it’s a lengthy explanation.”

“When?” Jerome can feel his heart doing that weird fluttering thing from Jeremiah’s touch.

“Tonight…Mother usually passes out by 11:00pm and whoever her lover is, at the time, will leave. Meet me outside the trailer and we’ll find a nice quiet area to talk, okay?” Jeremiah strokes his thumb back and forth over Jerome’s bruised cheekbone. 

“Okay.” Jerome felt something he hadn’t felt in a while….hope. “Miah….can I-“

Jeremiah closed the gap between their lips before Jerome could finish.

Just like before, the kiss sends Jerome into a happy daze. His lips tingle when they meet and he couldn’t help but let out a needy whimper. 

Jeremiah is just as shocked as his brother is. He can literally feel small waves of electricity traveling throughout his body from something as simple as a kiss. 

The voices draw nearer, there’s more now.

“Shit….” Jerome doesn’t want to pull away, he wants to keep Jeremiah in his arms. 

“Tonight….11:00pm, don’t forget.” Jeremiah can sense the reluctance in Jerome. He steals one more quick peck to the lips before removing Jerome’s arms. 

Jerome allows Jeremiah to pry his arms away and he doesn’t oppose. “I won’t.” 

Jeremiah put his glasses back on before smiling timidly at his brother. 

Jerome’s heart melts. He’s almost tempted to grab Jeremiah and kiss him again, but he refrains from doing so. 

Jeremiah walks past his brother and back to the area where he dropped the gas can. He picks it up and glances over his shoulder one more time to see Jerome staring. Jeremiah awkwardly lifts his hand to wave before stepping between two trailers and out of view.

Jerome weakly waves back but he’s never felt more enthusiastic in that moment. What was once a dark, hole of despair that was his life….was now lighter and better. He was going to see Jeremiah tonight and finally figure out why he did all of those things. Maybe Jerome could help his brother with whatever he was going through... He wanted nothing more than to see his Jeremiah happy. 

“Jerome!!!” Owen’s voice echoed from afar. 

Jerome turns and he starts jogging at a light pace to locate Owen, who was probably going to put him to work today. Not that Jerome minded. He was oblivious to all the pain his body was in. The only thing on his mind was Jeremiah and of their meeting tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> "With uncle Zach, the beatings just never stopped....They went on and on and nobody ever helped me. Ever." -Jerome Valeska (Season 4, episode 16)
> 
> That line broke me. I could only imagine how much physical and emotional abuse he went through growing up. I wanted to deliver something thought provoking and emotional for my readers. Ahhhhhhh the emotional manipulation Jeremiah uses on Jerome <3 I hate to love it but I love to hate it.
> 
> I hope I accomplished my goal. I want to wrap everything up at part 5, and maybe do a POV for Jerome and Jeremiah afterwards with some time skips. We'll see though. I'm so happy that my passion and hobby can be enjoyed by others ^^ Comment your thoughts, like it up, I'll get to part 5 soon~


End file.
